Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince review number 87,353,343

Okay, so 87 million might be an exaggeration, but not by much. But I'm going to toss my opinion out there anyway!

I'm not going to shy away from spoilers, since I'm assuming most people know how things end. You've been warned! If you don't know what happens at the end of the story, don't read this review.

To give a little context: I've read all the books, and see all the movies. My favorite out of all the movies is the third--I'm not a huge fan of the first two. This is partially because of the terrible acting and cheesiness (the end of the second one makes me cringe), and partially because it looked so different from how I pictured it. The first two were also so obviously kid-oriented; I think the latter ones do a much better job of balancing the humor and magic of the books with the darker aspects. So even though the last three movies haven't been as faithful to the books, I like them a lot better.

The movie hit all the important points for this particular storyline: Slughorn and his altered memory, the trips into the Pensieve, Malfoy's scheme with the vanishing cabinet. Harry finds the used potions book, and uses the sectumsempra spell; he accompanies Dumbledore to get the Horcrux, watches Snape's apparent betrayal, and discovers the Horcrux is a fake. Sometimes the ways we get there are different--most notably, we see Malfoy's experiments with the cabinet and can see all along what's coming, even though none of our main characters would have knowledge of it--but the main points are all there.

The side plotlines of the relationships were fiddled with; Ron and Lavendar are hilarious, but Harry and Hermione bonding over their unrequited love for Ginny and Ron was created out of whole cloth. Harry and Ginny's relationship is boiled down to one kiss, essentially, and that's about it. Tonks calls Remus "sweetheart" at one point, but other than that there's nothing about their relationship at all.

A couple of other scenes were added, particularly a scene Bellatrix and Fenrir Greyback show up at the Burrow and lure Harry out of the house. Although it didn't happen in the book, I thought it was a good addition--mostly because there was so little actual action in the book until the very end. The fact that the Weasley's house is torched is going to cause problems later, though, I think.

Speaking of problems ... I'm interested to see how the heck they arrange for Harry, Hermione and Ron to find the rest of the Horcruxes, considering 99% of Harry's conversations/Pensieve trips with Dumbledore were completely left out. We don't see young Tom Riddle visiting the old lady with the Hufflepuff cup, or his mother and her family in their squalid hut. There's also nothing about nonverbal spells, Bill and Fleur, the Dursley's, Kreacher or the house on Grimmauld Place. Sirius is mentioned once, in passing. I know a lot of things would have to be left out; it's a very long book. But I'm not sure how they're going to weave all the pieces together for Deathly Hallows.

My biggest problem with the movie, though, is that the end felt very, very rushed. There was no battle in Hogwarts; Harry's duel with Snape was all of two spells. Snape tells Harry he's the half-blood prince but not why--not that it seems important in the scope of the movie. Dumbledore's memorial service is completely left out, as is Harry's ending conversation with Ginny.

All of this isn't to say I dislike the movie; I thought it was pretty good. It was very visually interesting, and it was funny and suspenseful. I'm not just sure how they're going to bridge the gap between this movie and everything that happens in Deathly Hallows.

Oh, one last thing--Tom Felton, the guy who plays Draco, does a great job.

Book review: "The Dream-Hunter" by Sherrilyn Kenyon

A friend at work recommended Kenyon's books to me; she'd described the Dark-Hunter series as being about vampire killers, etc., and I added them to my Booksfree list just out of curiosity. I didn't realize until I received The Dream-Hunter, and read the back, that it's part of a genre I eschew: romance. (pause for Wilhelm scream) Still, I gave it a try on my friend's recommendation. I'm still not 100% sure what to say about it.

Our main character is Megeara Kafieri, a buttoned-up, overly serious academic type. Her family has been obsessed with finding Atlantis, to the point of several people dying because of it; she promises to continue the quest when her father is on his deathbed, although she doesn't believe. Then she receives two items in her father's will that change her mind, and she throws herself into this quest.

Our other main character is Arikos, a Dream-Hunter. What's that? Um ... it's a little confusing. He was originally an Oneroi, a Greek god of sleep. Apparently, one of these guys did something eons ago to piss off Zeus, so he cursed them into emotionlessness. Now, the only time they can feel emotions is when they're floating around in the dreams of humans. An Oneroi who becomes addicted to emotions becomes a Skotos, which is what Arikos is. Naturally, he's a Skotos of the erotic variety, and has been shagging Megeara silly in her dreams.

Arikos is so curious about her that he makes a pact with Hades, who makes him human and tosses him in to the ocean by Megeara's research ship. Naturally, she's shocked to see him, and he makes up a rather lame cover story while being confused that she didn't immediately jump his bones. Then he contacts his "brother", another supernatural being, in order to procure the excavation permits Megeara needs to go hunting for Atlantis ... even though Arikos knows that all sorts of ancient goddess hell will break loose if she finds it.

All the stuff about the gods and goddesses, and the hierarchy and powers and all, is great and interesting. I liked the characterization of the mythological figures; at times it was funny, like Artemis' inability to "get" human slang. At times it was touching, like a brief reunion scene between Hades and Persephone.

If this had been a book primarily about them, and their battles and struggles, I think I'd've liked it more. However, this is definitely a romance novel with supernatural characters rather than the other way around, and that really rubs me the wrong way. All the "fire spread across his skin at her gentle touch" crap just makes me roll my eyes. Having sex in a pool of molten chocolate doesn't sound erotic to me, for instance--it sounds sticky and gross. Think about what happens when chocolate dries--it gets all crumbly and leaves behind a stick residue! And it's just like having sex in water or sand--some of it's gonna get where you don't want it! Okay, so they were in a dream, but still--just not an erotic image.

I'll be honest, I didn't even finish it. I carried it around in my purse for a couple of weeks and read it while waiting for appointments, etc., and it was never one of those books I just couldn't put down. By the time Megeara and Arikos get naked (like that's a spoiler, please), I was done. I skimmed the end, read occasional chunks, and saw it ended about like I expected. Here's where the trouble comes in: I didn't like it. I wouldn't recommend it. But I know that I don't like it simply because of what it is.

Book review: Hex and the Single Girl by Valerie Frankel

Hex and the Single Girl follows nine days in the life of Emma Hutch, a modern-day witch. Her "powers" are heightened senses (especially smell), and what she calls "telegraphopathy"--the ability to plant in image into someone else's mind. She earns her living by using this power running her own business, The Good Witch Inc. Lovesick women come to Emma, and she basically stalks their crushes, subtly touching them to implant the image of Emma's client.

As the book starts, Emma is on the verge of losing her apartment. Eventually we learn that an Enron-like scandal resulted in her losing all her savings, and she's been struggling since. We also learn that she hasn't had sex in a long, long time--because halfway through the foreplay the men go soft and bail on her, which has resulted in Emma having some self-esteem problems. She also is terrified of ending up dying of a brain aneurysm like her mother.

At the beginning of the book, a new client named Daphne offers Emma $5k to work on a highly eligible bachelor. Unfortunately, a chance encounter leads to Emma and the bachelor being smitten with each other. There are hints that either Emma has more witchy powers than she thought, or the bachelor does too, but we never really find out if either is true. There's also a whole storyline involving Emma's lost savings and a former client's bastard boyfriend. Another storyline involves the a model friend of Emma's best friend; the model was involved in an advertising campaign with Daphne. Emma's best friend falls for Daphne's assistant, and the model's lawyer falls for Daphne's other assistant--just an example of how everyone is connected to everyone in the book, with Emma at the center.

I was equal parts amused and annoyed with this book. Some of the situations seemed honest and were hilarious; some of the puns were just way too on the nose, and were groan-worthy. Sometimes Emma seemed like a strong character, but other times she was very morose. For example, she looks at a piece of toast described as "blackened, hard, dry, overheated, tasteless, useless, and unappetizing". She then thinks, "I am that toast." Blech. Emma is also both deeply romantic and Sex and the City-style blunt sometimes. She ends up being "saved" by love, being shown she's "worthy" by a man, and living happily ever after thanks to a too-perfect male protagonist--things which are standard in a romance book, but still a bit obnoxious.

Still, the book was enjoyable enough. I'll probably read more of Valerie Frankel's books.

Movie review: Enchanted

Twenty minutes in, and all I can say so far is that Amy Adams' squeaky little princess voice is making me want to break something. Well, and James Marsden is pretty hilarious as the overblown Prince Edward.

The movie starts out with a cartoon sequence, where Giselle is singing along with her little forest friends about "true love's kiss". Then she meets Prince Edward, they plan to get married the next day, and instead his evil stepmother shoves her down a well that pops her out a manhole in Times Square. Soon Edward, a sarcastic chipmunk, and the evil stepmother's henchman follow.

Giselle meets Robert, an uptight single father planning on proposing to his girlfriend. Instead he ends up having his girlfriend think he's cheating with Giselle, his divorcing clients think he's messing with them, and then going on a fairy-tale singalong trip through Central Park.

Most of the humor comes from the consequences of fairy tale actions in the big city--like when Giselle uses her magical princess singing powers to summon birds, rats, and cockroaches to clean Robert's apartment. Sometimes the juxtaposition of cheesy cartoonish antics against real life is a little cringe-inducing, and there are few surprises in the plot. But it's a good, fun family movie.