I swear I have opinions.

I'm just too scatter-brained to write them up. I've been trying to write a review of the newest Anita Blake since it came out, but I feel like my brain has been put through a blender every time I try!

Maybe that's a review of the book right there, come to think of it.

On being a brand-name whore.

(A sponsored post.)

For the first 25 years of my life, I was supremely uninterested in fashion, style, makeup, purses, and anything else the smacked of .... girlyness. I didn't understand why anyone would possibly pay more for something just because it had a name on it. If you'd said juicy couture tracksuits to me back then, I'd've asked how a tracksuit could be juicy. To an extent, I still don't -- I wouldn't pay $20k for a purse no matter whose name was on it, especially if it was ugly!

But a few years ago my mom and I were shopping, and we found these absolutely adorable red crocodile print purses. I didn't know anything about the brand, but I bought it because I liked it -- and then I admit, I liked all the attention it got! I still won't pay that much for designer stuff, because I'm poor; and if it's ugly I'm still not going to buy it; but I admit now there are certain brands that I look for on the rare occasions I go shopping. I've got some truly obnoxious purses these days.

Of course, my shopping is limited by two things: money and fat. For instance, I don't think there are any of those juicy couture tracksuits big enough for my ass! They sure are snazzy though.

Oh yeah, I was gonna review stuff.

Ha! I was so busy last semester I could barely breathe, and since then I've been obsessive about other things. Someday I might get back to writing reviews of stuff -- I still love to tell everyone what I think about everything!

Sweeeeeet, just pre-ordered new Kim Harrison!

I love MySurvey! Just got another $25 gift certificate, which I used to pre-order Black Magic Sanction and also to re-purchase one of my favorite Terry Pratchett books, Reaper Man. (So in the last year I've gotten $50 in gift certificates, $25 in cash, four free products to test, and two bags of dog food that saved me about $30, for free. I love it!)

Back to the main topic, I'm pretty excited for Black Magic Sanction. A few weeks ago I re-bought Dead Witch Walking, I still don't know where my original copy went. I might try to re-read the series before the new one comes out, but not sure if my school schedule will let me. Anyway, I'll have a review up of Black Magic Sanction a few days after it comes out!

Book review: "Flirt" by Laurell K. Hamilton

(Holy hell, I just realized I haven't written a review of this series in more than a year. I'm such a slacker. I read them, just didn't write it up. This book is too short to write a review without giving away plot points. You've been warned!)

When I first heard this novella was coming out, I was both excited and not expecting much. I love the Anita Blake series--I re-read them about once a year, if not more. So I was excited there would be another one to add to my collection. But I was also worried it was going to be like Micah, the other novella in the series. I think I read it in the store in less than an hour, bought it just to have the complete set, and have never opened it again. Micah isn't my favorite character, so a book that was largely about his past, and Anita's stupid emotional issues, and them having sex .... just not interesting to me. I was worried Flirt would be a book all about Jason (again, like Blood Noir) or worse, Nathaniel.

But hooray, it wasn't! It was actually a very nice blend of present and past-style Anita stories. It starts in her office, with two clients wanting her to raise the dead: one out of grief, one for nefarious purposes. She turns them down, before going out for a kind of hilarious lunch date with Jason, Nathaniel, and Micah; there's some of the emotional shit-shoveling that's present in all the books, but it's not belabored, which is nice.

Two weeks later, Anita is abducted by two strange werelions on behalf of one of the crazy clients from before. Of course, with her menagerie of metaphysical wereanimals, all sorts of furry issues erupt. The ardeur plays a part, as does her ability to "roll" wereanimals. In the end, though, Anita beats the bad guys largely with her own powers, in a gruesome and terrible way. Really, the way the primary villain dies is pretty devastating. I like that, and also the fact that the reason for the entire plot is rooted in Anita's world, in her animating, rather than furry or vampire politics. It was a nice return to older-style Anita.

There were a couple of things that bugged me; one was that, as with the last Merry Gentry book, there were spots where some copy editor clearly was asleep at the wheel. Also, this is the third book in a row where Jean-Claude is totally off-stage. He's mentioned, but he's not seen or even spoken to. I'm sick of Jason and Nathaniel; we're overdue for some JC. Also, Richard isn't mentioned at all, not in passing, not even hinted at. I know it's a small book, and things had to be left out; but I really hope that Bullet, the next full-length book, brings back both JC and Richard.

Overall, I enjoyed Flirt a lot more than I expected to. It brought a smile to my face, and unlike Micah, it's one I'll re-read as I go through the series in the future.

Currently reading: Nothing, which is really weird.

I have a stack of books to get to, but for some reason none of them are compelling me to get started. I ought to be reading now while I can--classes start tomorrow, so I'll be up to my eyeballs in mandatory reading. Maybe that's why I don't want to start any fun books, I'll just have to put them down!

Currently reading: "Redemption Alley" by Lilith Saintcrow

This is the third of the Jill Kismet series; I'm really enjoying it so far. I'm sure when I finish it I'll be impatient for the next one. But I'll try to put off reading it, since it just came out last month and then I'll be stuck waiting!

Next on the shelf:
Royal Road To Fotheringhay by Jean Plaidy
Living With The Dead by Kelley Armstrong
Sunshine by Robin McKinley
And hopefully, textbooks!

Short book review: "Kitchen Confidential" by Anthony Bourdain

If you're not interested in food, cooking, and kitchens--or if you haven't worked in a restaurant--you probably won't find this book interesting. A lot of people would probably be nothing but offended at some of what Bourdain has to say about restaurants. Bourdain talks about how he first became interested in food, his path through the Culinary Institute of America and then through an array of kitchens; he talks about his years of drug addiction, and encounters with the mob in New York's restaurant business. In the second half of the book is when non-foodies will probably lose their focus, as Bourdain describes a typical day for him, and talks about the people who work for him in the kitchen. That was my favorite part, in contrast--although I've worked only in fairly crappy restaurants, nothing as exciting and sophisticated as Les Halles, I could still relate.

In short the book is interesting, and often funny, and sarcastic; it's foul-mouthed and honest, and was well worth the read.

Currently reading: "Eclipse" by Stephenie Meyer

Yes, I am slightly ashamed. But I wanted to re-read it before the movie comes out in June. And it actually is better than I remembered it being.

Next on the shelf:
Redemption Alley by Lilith Saint Crow
Royal Road To Fotheringhay by Jean Plaidy
Living With The Dead by Kelley Armstrong
Sunshine by Robin McKinley

Product review: Dove Ultimate Visibly Smooth deodorant

The last time I went to the store to buy deodorant, I couldn't remember for the life of me which brand I used to get. I'd been using Lady Speed Stick, because they carried it at the dollar store, but it wasn't the best. I couldn't remember what I used before that, so I thought I'd try something new. As long as I was trying something new, why not try something that's supposed to have an added benefit? So I got the Dove Ultimate Visibly Smooth kind, which is supposed to make your underarm hair finer and less annoying.

I haven't been using it long enough to know if it works on the hair, though that would be great. What I can say is that I'm totally impressed with the anti-perspirant capabilities of this! I've been using it for a week--a week of hellish, busy, stressful, miserable waitressing shifts. Not once have I felt at all sweaty or gross. When my shift is over, I don't feel like my armpits are sticky and gross. I'm quite impressed. Even if the claims about hair lessening turn out to be bull, I'll keep using this!

Currently reading: "Kitchen Confidential" by Anthony Bourdain

I saw Anthony Bourdain back in November; before my friend had a spare ticket, I had no idea who he was. The show was great, though, truly hilarious; I'm excited to start this book.

Next on the shelf: same as previous post!

Currently reading: "Pyramids" by Terry Pratchett

I've been trying to read this installment of the Discworld series for a couple of weeks now. I've fallen asleep on it twice, and just not felt like reading it other times. I don't know why; it's hilarious, as they all are. I guess I've just been in the mood for something different. But I've had it from Booksfree for more than a month, so I'm going to read it, dammit!

Next on the shelf:
Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain
Redemption Alley by Lilith Saint Crow
Royal Road To Fotheringhay by Jean Plaidy
Living With The Dead by Kelley Armstrong
Sunshine by Robin McKinley

Product review: Always Infinity

I've been in a "feminine protection" product rut for several years now. Once I found stuff that works tolerably well, I just kept buying that same stuff. For several years I've been buying Always regular pads and Playtex tampons. Why mess with success, right? I tend to be suspicious of all the "new and improved" products--what's the advantage of having a braided string on your tampon, honestly?

On Sunday I had to buy new supplies for the first time in a year (long story). Usually I'd just buy my regular stuff, but the Infinity stuff was on sale. It was still a little more expensive than the regular pads, until I spied a coupon somebody had forgotten! With the sale and the BOGO coupon, I was sold. I got a large box of the regular absorbency and a smaller box of the ones for heavier flow.

When I first opened one up, I thought it was really strange looking. The front is narrower than the back, and the slip that holds the wings in place even says which direction is the front. The top layer is a soft sort of mesh. The next layer has horizontal slits cut out of it near the back, and a collection of small holes near the front of the pad, where most of the liquid would land. I wasn't sure what the point of those holes was, nor if this ridiculously thin pad would be worth messing with.

After my first use, though, I was impressed. Whatever this "infinicel" foam is they use to make these, it's amazing. It's like very thin, very flexible sponge. The blood gets channeled down through the small holes, to the bottom most layer of the pad; the top stays amazingly dry. The foam also absorbs an astounding amount of liquid--and it doesn't well back up to the top layer until pretty much the entire length of the pad is saturated. When it gets to that point, though, even a light touch will cause fluid to well up, so suddenly the entire length of the pad will show red. Still, it controls it well--I didn't ruin any underwear using these.

On a day like today, I usually would've used five or six of the regular "heavy flow" pads, and probably a couple of tampons as well. Actually, if I hadn't had to work, I'd've spent the day sitting on towels in case of leaks and taking frequent showers. Instead, I've used three regular flow Infinity pads and one heavy flow. That may sound like a lot for one day, but comparatively, it's amazing. Yesterday I only used two pads all day--because not only are they crazy absorbent, they're very durable. After eight hours, the wings were still firmly stuck, the mesh top of the pad was still intact, and there were no signs of the inner layers of the pad starting to break up or flake like some pads will.

My skin wasn't irritated by the pad, which is an improvement over others; it didn't come unstuck and end up adhering to my skin; the wings didn't chafe the insides of my thighs; it didn't bunch up or feel like it was migrating backward as I walked; and it handled even my heaviest, most obnoxious flow--during the dinner rush, no less, when I couldn't go to the restroom for hours. I'd say these pads are just about perfect; they're pretty damn impressive. My only complaint is that they are a little pricey, so I'll probably make a strong effort to always have a coupon to use, but even if I can't find a coupon, this is a product I'd be willing to pay full price for.

Upcoming books I'm excited for.

Flirt, an Anita Blake short novel (Laurell K Hamilton). February.

Bullet, the next full-length Anita! June.

Black Magic Sanction by Kim Harrison, the next of the Hollows books. February.

Waking the Witch by Kelley Armstrong, the latest in the Otherworld series (although I haven't finished all the published ones, I know I will have when it comes out). October.

The Red Queen and The White Princess by Philippa Gregory. Not sure when either of those will be released.

Grave Secret by Charlaine Harris--already out in hardback, but waiting for paperback as I don't like that series quite enough to re-read, so I don't want to spend the money on the hardback.

The Captive Queen by Alison Weir. April.

Hmm ... how the hell am I going to pay for all these? And these are just my favorite authors, who I'm willing to spend money on because I know I'll re-read the books (Harris' aside). Actually, those are just the ones who popped into my tired three-a.m. brain.

Let me be shameless for a moment ... if anybody wants to help me earn points to get free gift cards for these books, and find out how to get things for yourself as well, see my post here.

Book review: "Divine Misdemeanors" by Laurell K. Hamilton

(Big spoilers if you haven't read through the last book; minimal ones for this installment itself.)

I've been waiting on pins and needles for this book for a little more than a year now, even since finishing Swallowing Darkness, which was just incredible. I couldn't wait to find out what happened after Merry and her entourage left the Unseelie court, to find out what they would do in Los Angeles, if Andais would leave them alone .... a lot of questions were answered, but a lot of new ones were raised too, so I was just incredibly excited to read Divine Misdemeanors.

It starts with Merry at a crime scene, where a number of demi-fey have been killed and staged to look like a children's book. The police are working it, but since Merry is working for her old detective agency again she's there to look at the scene as well. (It's a set-up very similar to the Anita Blake books, really.) Overall, I liked the book, although there were some issues I had.

The good:

• A lot more of it is her dealing with all the men in her life, and being pregnant, and day-to-day life. Which is interesting, and there are some very sweet, touching scenes.
• One thing I've always loved in both the MG and AB books is the inclusion of very authentic, grounding details that really make it seem like this is happening in our world--there's a lot of that in Divine Misdemeanors, which I really enjoyed.
• The overall tone of the book really was very happy--despite drama, and problems, and tension, you get a sense of Merry being settled, and happier.
• The crew from the Gray Detective Agency is back--Uther and Jeremy, at least, and Roane is even mentioned in passing. The Hart brothers are included as well, and Maeve Reed is at least mentioned.
• We see some of the lasting impact of Andais' insanity; we also see some people recovering from it.
• The soldiers Merry healed in the last book haven't just dropped off the face of the earth, which is a nice continuity.
  
• A new type of fey, a Fear Dearg, comes on to the scene, which is really interesting.
  
• Great sex scenes--there's a moonlit beach scene with Rhys that's really just incredible. There's also one with Sholto that if you really stop and take the time to fully envision it, is, uh, quite striking.
  

The bad, or at least not great:

• Although the murder case comes up several times through the book, it feels very much like a side storyline--but there's not a primary storyline, so the book feels rather unfocused.
• There's also next to nothing about either of the courts--Taranis is being accused in public of Merry's rape, Merry killed Prince Cel and tons of other sidhe, her grandmother was killed, she and Sholto were crowned ruler of the sluagh, she and Doyle were crowned and gave up their rule for Frost, and all of that is hardly mentioned. LKH has said that this is the beginning of a new story arc for Merry, and that it's a transitional book--but there's so little of the old, and only a half-step toward the new, that the book feels a little directionless.
• There's a weird "fairy godmother" character that's just sort of thrown in, and you think her presence is going to be really important .... and then she's just sort of dropped.
• I'm already sick of Merry commenting on her stomach still being flat, but she's pregnant. We get it. Really. You don't have to state that exact thing every time you touch your stomach.
• I love the sex; I really do. But there was a bit much of it. In a 333 page book, there are five sex scenes, with six of the men, three of them new.
  
• The narrating voice of Merry seems to be getting lost. Until this book, I could've read an excerpt without names or locations, and told you if it was a Merry Gentry or an Anita Blake book. But this one, there were many, many places where I was tripped up the fact that it seemed like Anita was suddenly in a faerie princess' story. There was even one scene that seemed directly lifted from an Anita book--Danse Macabre, I think--where Anita says she's Prince Charming, she doesn't need rescuing. I suppose some cross-over is to be expected when you have one author writing two supernatural kind of series--but there's been such a distinct difference before that I was surprised to see it.
• Copy edits appear to have been very, very sloppy. There are sentences that don't make sense because they're missing words, or their structure makes them say something different than they're supposed to. There are repetitious situations--for example, the cop named Lucy is told at the beginning of the book that certain demi-fey can become human sized, but half-way through the book she apparently doesn't know this. And then there's a spot that's just ridiculous: Rhys's matter-of-fact voice was my first hint that... "The barrel of a gun isn't a very friendly way to start a visit."

Although there were a number of things that bothered me, I didn't dislike the book. It just felt like fluff, especially after the incredibly action-packed Swallowing Darkness. So little of note happened that I feel like this book could be skipped without the reader being confused. I can recommend it because it was a pleasant read, but it's really nothing earth-shattering.

Movie review: New Moon

Yeah, I can hear some people groaning already. Shut up. :)

I'm not a rabid Twilight fan, really. I read the books in the space of a week to have something to talk to my new co-workers about, and found I liked them in spite of myself. They're so incredibly ... just .... they're teenage wish-fulfillment fantasies. I can see why fourteen year old girls flock to them, and I admit it appeals to the little tiny part of me that likes to squeal.

I actually wasn't even going to go to the midnight showing, but a friend got me a ticket, so away I went. And New Moon is much, much better than Twilight was. To start with, they cut out (most) of the cheese factor--Carlisle doesn't look like he greased himself and rolled in flour, for instance. They still did some of that blurry-moving-vampire stuff, but it wasn't an obnoxious. And the acting, overall, was much better. They also toned down Edward's sparkliness, which was appreciated.

The film makers obviously decided to capitalize on the Tyler/Jacob hype--there were plenty of shots of his newly buffed chest. There was also a very romance novel shot where he's shirtless and riding to Bella's rescue on a motorcycle and dramatically dismounts to save her. I'm not complaining--I'd rather look at Taylor Lautner than Robert Pattinson. Well, sometimes. I was definitely on Team Jacob by the end of the movie.

Also, I'm totally straight, but Rachelle Lefevre? She's hot. Her fighting and running from the werewolves was sweet. I'm very disappointed that she's being replace for Eclipse.

I'm not even going to comment on the plot, really; I'll just say the movie stuck pretty damn close to the book. No big surprises there, and the huge lapses of time that were glossed over in the book were handled pretty well in the movie. The end, though, chapped my ass. Not that it deviates from the book, it doesn't; it's just the particular moment they cut it off at.

I did miss some aspects of Twilight, mainly Catherine Hardwicke's particular cinematic flair. One thing I really did like about Twilight were shots like where Bella's dreaming about Edward biting her and it looks like an old school vampire movie. Or the end, with Victoria descending the stars--those particular quirky scenes. New Moon was more action-oriented, and just had a different look and feel altogether. I didn't dislike it, I just thought the cinematography had a less individual flair.

I'm glad I went to see it, and I'm sure I'll be buying it.

Game review: Plants vs Zombies

Okay, so this game came out months ago and I'm behind the times as usual. But I freaking love it!

Made by PopCap games, it has a simple pretense: Zombies are attacking, and you have to defend your house! You do this by planting various protective plants in square on your lawn--like "Wall-nuts" that the zombies have to gnaw through, and "Melon-Pults" that bombard the zombies with watermelons. There are different levels to work through: daytime, night time, with a pool, and a roof level with catapulting plants. You have to use different plant strategies for the different levels--the nighttime ones can be really hard, since gravestones will pop up and regurgitate zombies behind your lines of defense.

It's a basic "defend your castle" sort of game, but what makes it so fun is the goofy-ass zombies and plants. There are conehead zombies, football zombies, and Zombie Bobsled Team: "Zombie Bobsled Team worked hard to get where they are. They live together, eat brains together and train together to become a cohesive zombie unit." I love it! There's also a "zen garden" for plants you find or buy while playing, that you can water and feed to gather coins from to buy more stuff. My favorite is the "Tree of Wisdom"--when you feed it, it gives you advice, and at different heights, you can make the zombies look different--or, you know, explode like pinatas. Whatever.

PopCap also parodied all those stupid Evony ads bouncing around (on the right). Their promotional "music video" below is how I first heard about the game, and it's hilarious:

Short book review: "Undead and Unwed" by Mary Janice Davidson

Betsy Taylor is 30 years old, single, and a model-turned-secretary. She has a rotten day, which culminates in getting hit by an SVU ... and yet she wakes up, "alive" and well. Turns out she's the prophesied Queen of the Vampires--Queen Bess, get it?.

I was excited for this book--it seems to combine two of my loves, vampires and Sex and the City, with a wink in the direction of Tudor history as well. It's a small book, so I was expecting a quick and enjoyable read. Instead, I struggled through the first couple of chapters and put it down. A couple of weeks later I tried again, but it just didn't work.

The main problem, I think, is that the main character is so incredibly shallow and self-absorbed. She kills two people, and yet is more worried about the fact that she's wearing bad shoes. No, that's really not a exaggeration. The people around her don't react at all as if something is, you know, wrong with the fact that she's come back from the dead. They react with the same glossy, flippant humor that she herself displays. Maybe this was intended to be light and airy, but it just comes across as strange, as flat and ridiculous. I don't expect every vampire book to be as self-conscious and brooding as Anne Rice, but the characters do need to at least seem like somewhat real people.

Honestly, I never made it through the book. That happens very rarely with me, but there was just nothing here to interest me.

TV review: "White Collar" on USA

I probably wouldn't have watched this show if it weren't for Matthew Bomer. Sure, USA has been advertising the hell out of it, but they do that for everything--but I've been less than impressed with some (Royal Pains, In Plain Sight, The Starter Wife). But I recognized Matthew Bomer from Tru Calling, and of course Willie Garson from Sex and the City. So I set my DVR and watched it.

Matthew Bomer is Neil Caffrey, a convicted felon, who escapes from prison at the start. He then steals a car with ease and makes his way to New York City. He doesn't get far, though; the FBI agent who originally caught him, Peter Burke, finds him again in the deserted apartment of his girlfriend. Caffrey goes back to jail, but ends up being temporarily released into Burke's custody, in order to help Burke and the FBI catch a forger they call "The Dutchman".

This really was a just about perfectly balanced premier. We got history, but not too much. We got hints of the future, hints of mystery, but not enough to be obnoxious and frustrating. The character interaction was authentic and often amusing; Caffrey and Burke have a good rapport. The storyline of catching the other forger was interesting, and also believable. The story had clever twists, and there were some interesting camera angles and zooms, but there was none of the over-the-top, Ocean's 11-type style that ended up turning me off of TNT's Leverage. I'm really glad I did watch this; I think it's going to be a great series.

And of course, the adorableness that is Matt Bomer doesn't hurt.

If you missed it, it'll be re-running on USA all week.

TV commentary: House M.D. episode 3, "The Tyrant"

I don't know that I can really maintain a weekly review/commentary of the series, but I just had to say something about this one! If you haven't seen it, stop reading, because I'm not going to shy away from spoilers.

In case anybody needs reminding, this is the episode where James Earl Jones plays an African dictator the team treats. House is still on the sidelines, as he doesn't have his medical license back yet; and I think that has a lot to do with why it ended as it did, because holy shit! Chase killed a guy! I am amazed. I didn't think Cameron would do it, even though she was so angry about treating him. And I didn't think Chase would, because he's, well, he's been such a pansy in the past!

Honestly, if House had been truly involved and invested in the case, I think things would've gone differently. I think House would've been savvy to Chase's actions if he'd been there every step of the way, instead of shoved to the sidelines. It's just another instance of Foreman falling short--he's an arrogant ass, and he's not half as smart as he thinks he is. He may solve the odd medical problem, but he doesn't have the innate understanding of other people nor the observant nature of House.

What would House have done, had he been in charge of the patient's care? He's implied in the past that he's helped terminal patients die; but I don't think he would kill the tyrant. I think he'd debate with him, and perhaps House's peculiar but spot-on logic would have swayed him. Even if it didn't, I think House would have treated him and sent him on his way--because despite his bullying of patients, and his denouncing of most as idiots, he also has respect for the free will of individuals, so long as they accept responsibility. House wouldn't condone the slaughter of an ethnic group, but he wouldn't think it was his responsibility to prevent either. He may take a ridiculous amount of responsibility upon himself, for his own decisions; but he won't accept the burden of others' choices.

So now Chase is a murderer, Foreman is an accomplice, and next week the hospital has to submit a report of the president's case. Can scleroderma be disproved after death? Will Cuddy spot something hinky with the files? Spoilers have been let out that Cameron will be leaving the show--something which shocks me--and that it has something to do with this episode. Will she leave her husband and Princeton Plainsboro when she finds out what Chase has done? Or will she take the fall for him and leave because of that? Gah!

This was just an amazing episode overall. I loved seeing House's old team together again, although it felt a bit stilted with Foreman in charge. Chase's sarcastic coffee cup salute was awesome and made me laugh. Cameron, with her "insane moral compass", was excellent at once again giving the ethical dilemma while not resolving it.

Wilson, who I usually love, made me want to slap him. His best friend just had a mental breakdown and spent months in the psych ward, and he's kicking him out of his stable, safe environment over a goddamn fountain? What a jerk! Of course, in many ways Wilson has always been a jerk--after all, who does House go to when he wants to manipulate a patient?

And House, of course, was still struggling with the aftereffects of his breakdown. I miss his sarcastic witticisms, which seem dulled by his attempt to change. Change is healthy, of course, but the strain of holding his tongue when dealing with the jerk downstairs was obvious. I hope that next week shows a return of House to the center stage--Foreman is obviously not capable of running the department, and after all, the show is called House.

The stand-out of this episode was really Jesse Spencer, though. His internal conflict, his approach to the patient and its evolution, and his confrontation with Foreman .... absolutely amazing. I hope he has more chances to season to do such great work.